An old dream found it's way to me.
I was laying in my bed, listening to the fan on the open windowsill blow loudly over me. It's noisy where I live now. There are the sounds of dogs howling, cars passing by, and late night people with bellies filled with warm alcohol returning home through the yellow-lit alley behind my studio. I told my husband once that outside our place sounds like a party that I am never invited to.
One of my cats, Shipwreck, is curled up by the window on his bed. His little mouth probably hangs slightly open on one corner. I don't know where my other cat is, Scurvy. But then she appears, her little two front paws on my bare thigh. She finds her place by my knees.
That is when an old dream sneaks in through the cracks of my studio. It crawls under my electric blanket and into my chest. My chest immediately confides to my brain, who then puts my body on alert. I sit up quickly, run to the bathroom to pee, don't bother flushing because I am so excited, and sit at my desktop. I open up my website, find the "Add Blog" button and then.... I just sit here... staring at my bright desktop screen in the dark room. Not sure where to go from here, ill-prepared at starting as usual.
I realize that dreams are great to have until they ask you to make them come true.
I did one of the worst habits one can do when trying to begin something: self doubt. I began self analyzing if I even have anything worth voicing. Lacking confidence, not to mention the lack of a catchy title, I return to bed. I do the one thing I know to do as a 25 year old, and that is to text my mom. Who is of course awake at midnight, as well as any hour of the night, in case me or one of my siblings needs her.
Me: "Okay sooo I decided to make a blog..." I tell my mom my dream for this blog. She remembers that i once started this dream a year ago and nothing came of it. I then tell her, "I am stuck on starting and what to name it."
Words of a wise mom: "Oh. Well just start it-"
(thanks mom...) The name will come to you when it's ready to. It's not important yet. Starting it is."
Once I knew my husband was fast asleep and wouldn't hear me typing (remember we have as 650 sq ft studio) I hurried to my keyboard and began typing all that I knew what to say at midnight.
Which is that I had an old dream come back to me, and it didn't matter that it was over a year old of a dream, or that I never finished it.
The dream came back and that counts for something. Enough of something to give it a go!
So here are my few thoughts on why dreams come back to us:
- They aren't going to stop coming back until you start; in other words, you won't know till you try!
- We shouldn't forget to feed our soul the dreams they crave (as long as they are good to us and do good of course!) Like our body craves certain food or exercise, our soul craves what it needs most.
- Perhaps dreams return because it's a part of God's purpose for you. (I will mention God various times in my posts, because Jesus rules!)
My dream came to be when one day I was people watching, and I realized that each person is incredibly valuable to our world. It is so hard to see this in our daily lives because we are stuck in our own mind and body. I so often do not think to bite my tongue when I am angry at my husband, or to stop myself from getting heated over someone who cuts me off in traffic. I think that in moments that are tough, I cripple. I forget people are people that matter, who have feelings, and families and friends who love them, just like me. I suddenly had a desire to want to get to know the strangers around me (minding childhood lessons on stranger danger!)
I want to discover people who want to motivate and inspire, educate, or share an entertaining story for the sake of sharing. Which literally means anyone and everyone if I could reach them all! Perhaps if we take time to listen to each other, we would realize we are just one big mobile body that in the end are not so different.
What excites me most is that, like me, these strangers have dreams too.
So if you're afraid to start your dream, here is advice from my mom from me to you:
JUST START IT
Thanks for reading!